I had the opportunity to attend a dinner theatre where the story of Sweet Ride by Ann Barry was performed. I watched and really enjoyed the musical theatre prior to reading the book. I find that an odd order of operations, as I’d rather read a book and then ‘watch the movie’. The book provides so much more of the story than any production of it ever could.
Overall, I would recommend the book if you are interested in quick read about what it was like in Nova Scotia during the second world war. The setting as well as the challenge of the ride makes it a unique story. I find it interesting to read something that was written about a place where I live but at a different time. This time, the book is about four women who undertake a crazy bike trip during the height of the second world war. In 1943, when there was a real fear of German u-boats off the coast of Nova Scotia, these women in their late twenties rode single speed bicycles from Blockhouse (near Mahone Bay) Nova Scotia to Charlottetown PEI, over 500 miles.
Truthfully, I think I enjoyed the musical theatre production more than reading the book.
It isn’t a long book – but then it is telling the story of an adventure that lasted only 10 days. The scope scares me about my project. The books I’ve read recently about cycle tours have involved much shorter tours than what I’m attempting to write about.
Being a critic is different from being an author. It is easier to see something and say “that doesn’t really work for me”, than it is to write something that works. For me, writing, and writing well, is more difficult than providing a critique of work; however, it is through this critique that I learn to write better.
My challenge with the writing in the book was with the dialogue. I, personally, am not great at writing dialogue. So I am trying to figure out why I was challenged with the dialogue in this book. The biggest issue I see is that there was too much of it. Dialogue slows down the reader. When I include dialogue in my memoir, it is to help tell the story in a more dramatic way. It is a tool that a writer can use to slow down the pace and increase the tension in the scene.
I have a mantra from my teaching that is “show don’t tell”. I think of that when I’m writing dialogue in my memoir. I write the dialogue to help increase the dramatic tension. It helps to communicate the tension of the moment.
For example, here is something I wrote that was recently published in Wildflower Magazine:
I’m anxiously waiting for a call from my oncologist with results from my latest CT scan. Results that will tell me if I’m going to live. I’m out walking my adorable black and white cavapoo named Cali. She squats to do her business. I reach for a poo bag and my phone rings. My heart races. I look up for my husband who is chatting with someone about 200 feet away. I wave him towards me as I fumble to answer my phone.
“Hi, is this Rebecca?” the voice on the other end asked.
“Yes, this is she.” I say, standing there awkwardly, as my husband approaches. I hand him the poo bag and Cali’s leash.
“This is Dr. R from oncology. Do you want some good news?”
I could barely speak, so I just asked, “Is it good news?”
“Yes! Your scans are all clear.”
Tears well up instantly. I was so sure it wouldn’t be good news. Relief washes over me, and I feel a wave of gratitude, but with it comes something else: uncertainty. Who am I now? What should I do next?
You can see that I didn’t say “Dr. R called and told me my scans are clear”. That would have killed the dramatic tension in the scene. I used the dialogue to slow down the moment and help the reader feel the anxiety that I was feeling in that moment.
In Sweet Ride, the dialogue doesn’t do that because there is too much of it. If there was less dialogue, then the places where it exists would provide a better contrast to the text, making the dialogue more powerful. That is the lesson I’m going to take away from this book – to use dialogue sparingly when it adds emotion and dramatic tension.
To the other writers reading this: Do you have any tips for when to use dialogue and how much to use?
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